Masking Neurodiversity – The Good and the Bad
By Victoria Cory
Masking is a term that you may be hearing more and more on social media. The definition itself seems to get muddled, so let’s start there. Masking is the act of suppressing or concealing neurodivergent traits and symptoms in order to appear neurotypical and fit into the social environment. This is done either consciously or unconsciously and is often done by mimicking or mirroring the behaviours of others. It may be to fit in, to avoid discrimination, or to cope with a lack of accommodations. Masking is done to conceal how autism or ADHD impairs the individuals functioning.
Masking in Autism
In autism specifically, masking is often done to blend in and be accepted by society. It may mean being hypervigilant about how your behaviours are received by others and tightly controlling how you express yourself and your needs. This can look like mirroring facial expressions, forcing eye contact when it isn’t comfortable, suppressing stimming and hiding physical reactions to sensory overstimulation. Someone that is high masking autism may script conversations and behaviours ahead of time in order to avoid having to adapt or decide what to do/say in the moment. High masking individuals may also hide details about themselves or avoid sharing about their special interests to avoid being judged by others.
Masking in ADHD
Similar to autism, masking in ADHD is usually done to fit societal expectations or avoid judgement. This can look like forcing themselves to sit still, even when they feel like they need to move their body, suppressing impulsive thoughts, questions or behaviours, or mimicking how others act to ensure that they fit in. Many times, adults with ADHD have learned to mask behaviours that have led to repetitive negative feedback or gotten them in trouble when they were younger.
The Affect
While masking is a common and often extremely helpful coping mechanism for neurodivergent individuals, it can also have a lot of negative consequences. These may include:
– Mental and physical exhaustion and burnout
– Mental health difficulties
– Feeling isolated or disconnected from others
– Complicating or delaying diagnosis/support as others are not seeing the true impact
– Development of anxiety and depression
– Lower self esteem/self worth
These are just a few of the consequences to masking and it if different for each neurodivergent individual.
Unmasking
So now what? We know that masking can be harmful, but unmasking can be harmful as well. It is not always possible for someone to unmask. Masking provides them with protection and safety (avoiding bullying and marginalization), creates successful interactions with others, helps them to succeed in school and work, and may help to build confidence (fake it until you make it).
But here’s the thing, finding balance so that you can be your true self in safe environments is really freeing. When I started this journey for myself, I realized that I was masking even when I was alone. No wonder I was exhausted all of the time!
Here are a few ways to explore unmasking:
1. Explore who you are when you aren’t masked. What are your values? What personal qualities do you want to express to others? What are you interests? What parts of you do you suppress?
2. Begin to unmask with safe people. At first the only safe person might be yourself. But consider letting down your mask with your partner, family member or friend that is safe and supportive.
3. Identify what personal accommodations you need to make for yourself or systems you need to develop in order to cope with the symptoms you have been masking.
4. Find community! Surrounding yourself with other neurodiverse individuals means you can find spaces where there is less masking needed. Online groups and communities are a great option if you don’t live in an area where you know many other autistic/ADHD people. It helps to not feel alone!
5. Consider talking with a therapist that specializes in working with autistic or ADHD individuals in an affirming way. Having a space to process your experience and to learn more about your neurotype can be really helpful.
Here are a few resources I have found helpful if you want more information on masking:
– “The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD” by Jennifer Kemp and Monique Mitchelson
– “The Unmasking Workbook for Autistic Adults” by Jessica Penot
– “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price
“Refusing to perform neurotypicality is a revolutionary act of disability justice. It’s also a radical act of self- love” – Devon Price Unmasking Autism