BACK TO SCHOOL JITTERS: HOW TO EASE SCHOOL ANXIETY
By Sue Bradley
The start of a new school year is an exciting time for many children, but for some, it can trigger a wave of separation anxiety. As a caring parent or guardian, you play a pivotal role in helping your child navigate these emotions and set them up for a successful transition. It’s normal for parents and children to both have anxiety about going back to school.
· Eighty-six percent of school-aged children reported worrying at least some of the time.
· Sixty-seven percent of kids turn to their parents for advice when they’re worried.
It’s important for us as parents to anticipate the possibility of school anxiety this month, open up communication channels with our child, and practice some strategies in advance:
1. Open Communication: Start by having candid conversations about school and the emotions your child is experiencing. Share your own stories of feeling nervous in new situations, allowing them to see that their feelings are normal and shared by many. Encourage them to express their worries and listen attentively without judgment.
Communication also includes talking about your own anxiety. If you had a hard time going back to school as a child, talk to them about it. Share a story of when you were worried at school and what made you feel better. In the Nemours Children’s Health study, researchers found that 67 percent of kids turn to their parents for advice when they’re worried, so if you can talk openly about your own struggles with anxiety at school or work, it will make your child feel less alone or perhaps more open to expressing their own concerns.
2. Get Your School Routine Started Now: While we all love indulging in the lazy, unscheduled days of summer, it can really help kids (and you) by getting into a good routine again. Try to get your child waking up earlier—even just by 30 minutes—after going to bed at a decent hour and cutting back on their screen time. Gradual changes in their routines will help the school days seem less shocking to their system.
A morning routine is also important – the more consistent the routine is, the more your child will feel prepared for what’s next.
3. Empower with Choice: Give your child the opportunity to make small decisions, such as picking out their outfit or choosing a snack. This empowers them and fosters a sense of independence, which can help boost their self-assurance in unfamiliar situations.
4. Identify the Different Worries Between Teens and Younger Children: The age of a child is a huge factor in how kids showcase and handle their anxiety. For example, teenagers experiencing school anxiety often grapple with worries about their social standing, fear of embarrassment, or feeling called out by their peers. Thinking about awkward social situations can be triggering for them. Younger children tend to worry more about being away from a parent or caregiver, focusing on “what-if” scenarios that could happen while they are at school. Whatever their worry, it is important for us as parents to (1) identify the fear and (2) acknowledge it with them so you can work through it together and provide targeted support and reassurance.
5. Practice Separation: Spend short periods away from your child to help them gradually become accustomed to separation. Arrange playdates or activities with friends or family members to gently ease them into being apart from you.
6. Create a Special Goodbye Ritual: Develop a unique and positive goodbye routine that you and your child can share each morning. This ritual can include a special handshake, a hug, or a whispered message of love that reinforces your presence even when you’re not physically together.
7. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Recognizing their accomplishments, from successfully completing a day at school to making a new friend, reinforces their sense of achievement and bolsters their self-esteem.
As parents, it is important for us to be attuned to our child’s anxiety about school. As your family prepares to head back to school, your support and understanding are their greatest allies in overcoming anxiety. If we can look for the initial signs of anxiety and understand our child’s particular fears, we’ll be better armed to help implement thoughtful strategies that will reduce their fears and set them up for a year of success and fun. By fostering open communication, creating comforting routines, and empowering them with choices, you can transform their anxiety into a confident readiness for the exciting adventures that lie ahead. With your guidance and encouragement, this school year can be one of positive growth and development.