Why is Play So Important To Children?
By Melanie Ferster
“Enter into children’s play and you will find the place where their minds, hearts, and souls meet.”— Garry Landreth
Have you ever watched a child pretend play with toy animals, create an elaborate story with dolls, or repeat the same scene repeatedly with action figures?
To adults, this may look like entertainment. To children, it is often much more.
Children use play to communicate their thoughts, feelings, experiences, and questions about the world around them. While adults typically express themselves through conversation, children often express themselves through play.
This understanding lies at the heart of Child-Centred Play Therapy, an approach developed from the work of psychologist Virginia Axline and later expanded by Garry Landreth. Their work suggests that play is not simply something children do but rather is how children learn, grow, process experiences, and communicate.
As Landreth famously wrote:
“Toys are children’s words and play is their language.”
Why Don’t Children Just Tell Us How They Feel?
Adults sometimes assume children should be able to explain what is bothering them. Yet children’s brains are still developing. The areas of the brain responsible for language, emotional awareness, reflection, and abstract thinking continue developing throughout childhood and adolescence. Young children frequently experience emotions that are bigger than the words they have to describe them.
A child may not say, “I’m worried about starting school” but they might ‘make believe’ a story about a piglet being far away from its family. A child feeling overwhelmed by changes at home might not be able to describe this in words but instead might create a play narrative where characters are frightened and need to be saved.
Play Helps Children Make Sense of Their World
Think about how adults process difficult experiences. We often talk it over with friends, journal through reflections, or disclose difficult emotions with another. Children can do something similar through play.
When children play, they experiment, explore, rehearse, create meaning, and process experiences. Through imaginative play, they can revisit situations, try different outcomes, and gain a sense of mastery over events that may have felt confusing or overwhelming.
Virginia Axline believed that when children are given a safe and accepting environment, they naturally move toward growth and healing.
What Children Are Really Learning Through Play
Play supports much more than creativity. Research suggests that play contributes to emotional development through learning to identify, express, and manage feelings. Play contributes to problem solving as they practice decision-making, flexibility, and creative thinking and helps children adapt to challenges and navigate uncertainty. It helps strengthen confidence as play provides opportunities to experience success, competence, and mastery. And it helps to support relationships as children learn cooperation, empathy, communication, and social skills.
As parents, we sometimes pay more attention to a child’s behaviours or accomplishments rather than on their inner world but play invites us to notice what they are feeling, wondering, and working through. Play reminds us that some of the most important developmental work happens when children are free to explore, imagine, and simply be.
The Importance of Being Present
One of the most powerful gifts we can offer our children, is our attention. When adults enter a child’s world with curiosity rather than direction, children can often feel seen, valued, and understood. This doesn’t mean we need to entertain our children or direct their play. Instead, it means slowing down and following their lead.
Play can offer a window into a child’s inner world. When we allow children to take the lead in their play, we may notice what play themes repeat or what stories they create to understand what excites, frustrates, or worries them.