Understanding the Layers of Identity
Gender, Sex, Expression and Orientation
By Victoria Cory
As we enter the first week of Pride month, I thought it would be helpful to focus this first post on more general information and to hopefully answer questions that people often have. Something that I hear in sessions and from the general population is “I support the gay community, but I don’t understand all of the terms and language”. It can be hard when you don’t understand a term but are also trying to be respectful by not asking the member of the 2SLGBTQIA+ to teach you.
You don’t have to memorize every term to be respectful and supportive. Understanding a few key concepts and approaching others with curiosity and respect is the most important place to start. So today, lets dig into some of these terms and concepts and hopefully this will help to ease anxiety when loving and supporting the queer individual in your life.
Gender vs Sex vs Expression
It is important to understand that gender identity, anatomical sex, and gender expression are all separate aspects of a person’s experience. While these may align for some people, they do not always align for everyone. They are different parts of a person that, together, help make up that person’s identity.
Gender Identity: This is a person’s internal sense of their gender. It refers to who someone knows themselves to be. This may include identities such as:
– Woman: a person whose gender identity is female.
– Man: a person whose gender identity is male.
– Non-binary: a person whose gender identity does not fit exclusively within the categories of man or woman. They may identify as both, neither, or somewhere along the gender spectrum.
– Genderqueer: A person who does not identify within the binary of man/woman.
– Agender: A person who with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender and sees themselves as existing without gender.
– Two-Spirit: A culturally specific identity used by some Indigenous peoples that identify as possessing qualities or fulfill roles of both genders.
– Or another gender identity that feels authentic to the individual.
Gender is not something that can be determined by looking at someone. It is an internal experience that only the individual can define for themselves. Some people identify with the gender they were assigned at birth (Cisgender), while others do not (Transgender).
Anatomical Sex: Anatomical sex refers to the physical characteristics a person is born with, including chromosomes, hormones, reproductive organs, and other physical traits.
When we are born, healthcare providers typically assign a sex based on visible anatomy. This is often recorded as male or female. However, biological sex is more complex than many people realize. Some people are born with natural variations in sex characteristics that do not fit typical definitions of male or female. This is known as being intersex.
Anatomical sex describes physical characteristics. It does not determine a person’s gender identity, gender expression, or sexual orientation.
Gender Expression: Gender expression is all the different ways we present ourselves through our actions, our clothing, and our demeanor, and the gendered ways those presentations are socially interpreted.
This may include:
– Clothing
– Hairstyle
– Makeup
– Voice
– Body language
– Mannerisms
– Personal Style
Gender expression can be masculine, feminine, androgynous, or a combination of many different qualities. Most importantly, gender expression does not tell us someone’s gender identity. There is no “right” way to express your gender.
Sexual Orientation
Sexual Orientation is different from gender identity. While gender identity describes who you are, sexual orientation describes who you are romantically and/or sexually attracted to.
Some examples include:
Heterosexual (Straight): Attraction primarily to people of a different gender
Gay: Attraction primarily to people of the same gender
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to woman
Bisexual: Attraction to more than one gender
Pansexual: Attraction to people regardless of gender
Asexual: Experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others
There are many other terms here, these are just a few. If you would like to learn more terms, check out the newest resource on our website (www.hearthstonecounselling.com/resources-1)
What Does 2SLGBTQIA+ Mean?
You may have seen the acronym 2SLGBTQIA+ and wondered what all of the letters represent. While it can seem overwhelming at first, the acronym exists to acknowledge the many different identities and experiences within the community.
Here’s a brief overview:
2S (Two-Spirit): A term used by some Indigenous peoples to describe a person who embodies both masculine and feminine spirits or fulfills unique cultural and spiritual roles within their community. Two-Spirit is a cultural identity and should only be used by Indigenous people who identify with the term.
L (Lesbian): A woman who is attracted to women.
G (Gay): A person who is attracted to people of the same gender. While often used to describe men who are attracted to men, it is often used more broadly.
B (Bisexual): A person who is attracted to more than one gender.
T (Transgender): A person whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
Q (Queer or Questioning):Queer is an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or cisgender. Questioning refers to someone who is exploring or unsure of their identity.
I (Intersex): A person born with natural variations in sex characteristics that do not fit typical definitions of male or female.
A (Asexual, Aromantic, or Agender): Asexual people experience little or no sexual attraction. Aromantic people experience little or no romantic attraction. Agender people identify as having no gender.
+ (Plus): Represents the many additional identities and experiences that may not be captured by the letters listed above.
Language continues to evolve as people find new ways to describe and understand their experiences. The purpose of these terms is not to create division or confusion, but to help people feel seen, understood, and represented.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Can someone know their gender identity from a young age?
Many people share that they have a sense of gender identity at an early age while others many explore and better understand their identity later in life. There is no single timeline that applies to everyone.
Why are pronouns important?
Pronouns are one way we acknowledge and respect how someone identifies. Using a person’s correct pronouns can help them feel seen, respected, and included. Sharing your pronouns (even if you are cisgendered) can help normalize the practice and communicate that conversations about gender identity are welcome and respected. This can contribute to creating environments were transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people feel safer, more included, and less likely to be singled out.
It is important to remember that not everyone will feel comfortable sharing their pronouns, and people have many different reasons for that choice. The goal is not to require disclosure, but to create spaces where people have the opportunity to share if they wish.
What if I make a mistake?
Most people make mistakes when learning new language and meeting new people. If you use the wrong name or pronoun, a simple correction, apology and moving forward is often appreciated.
You do not need to understand or memorize every term to be supportive. Curiosity, respect, and a willingness to learn can go a long way toward creating communities where everyone feels welcome and valued. Asking questions respectfully, listening to people’s experiences, and remaining open to learning are meaningful ways to support the diverse identities that exist within our communities.
Happy Pride Month!